Ask Her
Wednesday's Question
I'm a 39-year-old woman without children, and lately, I've been feeling isolated. My long-term relationship has led me to adopt my boyfriend's social circle, but I don't genuinely connect with the women in that group. Having moved to his hometown a few years ago, making new friends has been challenging. My close friends from another state are now busy with their own families, and our communication has dwindled. As an introvert, I'm finding it difficult to form meaningful connections. How can I make new friends at this stage in life?
Dear Isolated,
I know exactly how you feel because I’ve been through it myself. When I was a military spouse, I moved around constantly, and every time I found myself starting over, I felt like the outsider in an already established friend group. And honestly, I hated it. It’s hard, but you’re not alone in this. So many women are in the exact same situation, feeling just like you, wondering where to even start.
Here’s what worked for me. I joined clubs, volunteered, and even created a blog to meet other women. The first thing was figuring out what kind of hobbies are you into? Find a club or group based on that. Whether it’s a book club, a fitness class, hiking, crafting, or even a wine-tasting group, joining something aligned with your interests has a major bonus, you get to explore a hobby you love, but you meet people who already share your interests. Conversations flow easier, and friendships happen more naturally that way.
If in-person groups feel intimidating, try friendship apps like:
- Bumble For Friends – Like Bumble, but for meeting platonic friends. A great way to connect with like-minded women in your area.
- Hey! VINA – Think Tinder but for finding female friendships.
- Peanut – Originally for moms but now includes women in all life stages looking for connection.
- Girlfriend Social – A free platform for women looking for new female friends.
This stage of life can feel isolating, but I promise, your people are out there. It just takes stepping into the right spaces where they can find you. Hold yourself to it and take the first step, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. You never know who else is sitting at home thinking, I wish I had more friends, too.
